Avenu Dallas, Club Review

6 May

Avenu Review

I’m going to preface this review with the fact that it could have just been bad timing all around… so I’m going to let Avenu slide. The ONLY reason I’m letting them slide is because I have friends that frequent the establishment and advised me that last night was just an exponential point. I stayed 45 minutes. I couldn’t handle it.

Why I had a bad time

I had to wait in line

Too many frat boys

Overcrowded

The Glowsticks

The Waiting.

I don’t consider myself stuck up in the least bit, but I don’t do lines. Lines are for people who are between the ages of 18-20. As far as I’m concerned, if you are old enough to buy a drink then you are too old to be waiting in line. Don’t get me wrong. I get it. It was my first visit was on “National I’m white, but I’m going to pretend I’m Mexican Day”. Some of us call this Cinco de Mayo. While waiting in line I overheard some Leave it to Beaver looking fraternity boy telling the bouncer that he purchased a table, and half of the line was his organization. At that point I knew my night wasn’t going to be good.

The Fratties.

Fratties are farturnity boys. No. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being part of a frat. In fact, if you’re in school right now I highly recommend you join one. What I am saying is that these are SMU fratties… meanings it’s just a bunch of sloppy dressing, 3/7 haircut, khaki cargo short wearing douchebags acting more important than what they will ever really be. Oh, and they are all short. By short I mean between 5’9- 5’10. Oh well, at least I was able to see over the crowd to find my group.

Too Many People.

It was wayyyyyyyyy overcrowed. I wanna say maximum capacity is 50 and they crammed the folks in like sardines. People weren’t nice in there either. They were pushing each other. No. Not in the nice gentle way, but in the “bitch move” way. I wanted to knock a couple of people out. However, the thing that got me was this one MORBIDLY obese dude (wearing a fuckin’ three piece suit in a hot ass club with no A/C) just SPIT on the dance floor right next to my shoe. What a nasty ass fuck! Who the FUCK spits on a dance floor?!!! Openly?! He was disgusting.

Glowsticks.

Avenu. Are you for real? I felt like I flashed back to the late 90’s at the Electric Daisy Carnival rolling on E. Who the fuck plays with glowsticks anymore? Not just regular glowstick. These were Texas sized glowsticks! Humongous! I wanted to tear my eyes out. The only thing that Avenu was missing at this point was Adidas and some asshole passing off dyed Tylenol as Ecstasy.

Now don’t get me wrong they are some good things about Avenu.

Their staff is really nice and courteous

It was safe and clean

DJ was okay

 The Staff.

While waiting in line people began complaining about how others were just cutting them. It was just the frat boys getting in the wrong line. Everyone knows there are typically two lines at the club. One for the people showing up, and one for the people who bought tables. Typically when you have VIP you don’t go anywhere near a line. You walk around the people in line right up to the bouncer.

While others were complaining about the “cutting” in line the bouncer calmly addressed people’s growing resent. He was nice and helpful. Most bouncers in this position would have been total assholes, but he wasn’t. Once in the facility all of the staff was nice and respectful. I have to appreciate that.

Cleanliness.

I have to acknowledge that the staff stayed on top of broken glass, spilled ice, and wet spots. They were like vultures to that shit. Great job.

Music.

While the DJ only played house music (during my 45 minute set) he was VERY good. Even though I don’t have a taste for it, I can appreciate the fact that he made it tolerable to listen to while at Avenu. I was told they switch it between hip hop and house every hour, but I couldn’t make it to the next hour.

Overall…

Would I go again? Yes. I honestly think that I caught Avenu on a blue moon. There is no way the people I hang with would frequent a place that was dominated by SMU fratties and house music. The people I associate myself with are young professionals with no kids. 

It was Cinco de Mayo, and I can’t blame Avenu for selling their tables out to a bunch of young SMU frat boys. I get it. Avenu is on that, as this kids say, #GetMoney mindset, The point to having a business is to make money. However, I just didn’t like the crowd that night. That’s what it really boils down too.

School ends for SMU students soon so I will give Avenu one more chance. Stay tuned for another review.

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