Marketing Yourself: How to Tell a Man You’re Great in Bed

30 May

People often get confused and mistake the meaning of the word “Marketing”. It seems that it is either too complex or too boring for people to remember.So here is a very simple way to get your arms around it.

 1. You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing.

2. You’re a woman at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, “She’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising.

3. You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Telemarketing.

4. You’re a woman and you see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I?” and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Public Relations.

5. You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition.

6. You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend. That’s a Sales Rep.

7. Your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you. That’s Tech Support.

8. You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you’re passing, so you climb onto the roof of one of the houses situated in the middle of the complex and shout at the top of your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!” That’s Junk Mail.

9. You’re at a party and this attractive older man walks up to you and starts to feel your ass. That’s former president Bill Clinton.

10. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney says that you were offended by it, so you sue and you are awarded a big cash settlement.

Now that’s America!!!

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2 Responses to “Marketing Yourself: How to Tell a Man You’re Great in Bed”

  1. Daisy June 7, 2012 at 12:24 pm #

    This just made my morning. Thank you! 🙂

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