Tag Archives: relationships

Only a Broke Girl Has a Million Dollar Pussy

20 Jun

Let me tell you girls…

If you think you have a million dollar pussy

Then you selling yourself cheap.

Everyone knows that if you can count it… then you don’t got enough.

Your most prized asset should be invaluable.

If you’re getting your advice from Nicki Minaj then you’re doing it wrong.

You need to be listening to Nicki Minaj’s boss’s, boss.

Or how about your just take notes from Liliane Bettencourt.

Nicki when you’re event a QUARTER near as rich as her…then give advice.



Drake Would do the Unthinkable

19 Jun

I only listen to this song for Drake’s part.

I just love how Unthinkable starts off with Drake’s lyrics.

They are wonderful.

I totally feel him on the followings lines…

Having dreams of being single forever he’s getting worried
And I’m scared too because I’m in the same boat
Good women are rare too, none of them have come close

and also…

Baby being part of this life
I feel like I’m bound to end up with somebody
That’s been with everybody

and this line as well…

I’m trying to live right and give you whatever’s left of me

5 Stages of a Break Up

23 Mar


Fucking Problems

10 Dec

Drake can get it.

Dating Letter to Santa…

9 Dec

Dating Letter to SantaVia The Love List

Not Putting Out, For the Men

22 Sep

Listen gentlemen.  You guys should ne happy if a fun, intelligent, and beautiful girl doesnt put out on the first date.

I have a headache from the taste cheap wine on my pallette. I will apologize now for misspellings, bad puncuation, and poor grammar.

I haven’t had a serious boyfriend in a good while. I feel.as though if im not at least seriously dating anyone by the end of 2013 then i will do something dramatically crazy that i would never have done in a million years. Since i have another 15 months to get it together i will think about my own personal consequences later.

Back to the gentlemen… getting a girl hammered on the first date is cool.  Just dont try to sleep with her. Even if she drunkingly ( is that a word) persist.

Let it go and call her the next day. She will appreciate it and will most likely drop her panties uninebriated by date 5.  

Marketing Yourself: How to Tell a Man You’re Great in Bed

30 May

People often get confused and mistake the meaning of the word “Marketing”. It seems that it is either too complex or too boring for people to remember.So here is a very simple way to get your arms around it.

 1. You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing.

2. You’re a woman at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, “She’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising.

3. You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Telemarketing.

4. You’re a woman and you see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I?” and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Public Relations.

5. You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition.

6. You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend. That’s a Sales Rep.

7. Your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you. That’s Tech Support.

8. You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you’re passing, so you climb onto the roof of one of the houses situated in the middle of the complex and shout at the top of your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!” That’s Junk Mail.

9. You’re at a party and this attractive older man walks up to you and starts to feel your ass. That’s former president Bill Clinton.

10. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney says that you were offended by it, so you sue and you are awarded a big cash settlement.

Now that’s America!!!