Tag Archives: Women

Only a Broke Girl Has a Million Dollar Pussy

20 Jun

Let me tell you girls…

If you think you have a million dollar pussy

Then you selling yourself cheap.

Everyone knows that if you can count it… then you don’t got enough.

Your most prized asset should be invaluable.

If you’re getting your advice from Nicki Minaj then you’re doing it wrong.

You need to be listening to Nicki Minaj’s boss’s, boss.

Or how about your just take notes from Liliane Bettencourt.

Nicki when you’re event a QUARTER near as rich as her…then give advice.

#Truth

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Not Putting Out, For the Men

22 Sep

Listen gentlemen.  You guys should ne happy if a fun, intelligent, and beautiful girl doesnt put out on the first date.

I have a headache from the taste cheap wine on my pallette. I will apologize now for misspellings, bad puncuation, and poor grammar.

I haven’t had a serious boyfriend in a good while. I feel.as though if im not at least seriously dating anyone by the end of 2013 then i will do something dramatically crazy that i would never have done in a million years. Since i have another 15 months to get it together i will think about my own personal consequences later.

Back to the gentlemen… getting a girl hammered on the first date is cool.  Just dont try to sleep with her. Even if she drunkingly ( is that a word) persist.

Let it go and call her the next day. She will appreciate it and will most likely drop her panties uninebriated by date 5.  

Marketing Yourself: How to Tell a Man You’re Great in Bed

30 May

People often get confused and mistake the meaning of the word “Marketing”. It seems that it is either too complex or too boring for people to remember.So here is a very simple way to get your arms around it.

 1. You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing.

2. You’re a woman at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and, pointing at you, says, “She’s fantastic in bed.” That’s Advertising.

3. You’re a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Telemarketing.

4. You’re a woman and you see a guy at a party; you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, “May I?” and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.” That’s Public Relations.

5. You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition.

6. You’re at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend. That’s a Sales Rep.

7. Your friend can’t satisfy him so he calls you. That’s Tech Support.

8. You’re on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you’re passing, so you climb onto the roof of one of the houses situated in the middle of the complex and shout at the top of your lungs, “I’m fantastic in bed!” That’s Junk Mail.

9. You’re at a party and this attractive older man walks up to you and starts to feel your ass. That’s former president Bill Clinton.

10. You like it, but twenty years later your attorney says that you were offended by it, so you sue and you are awarded a big cash settlement.

Now that’s America!!!

60 Facts Girls Need to Know About Guys

13 May

Preface:  I crossed out all facts that were false!  Enjoy!

1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them!

2. “Hey, are you busy?” or “Are you doing something?” ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they’re going to say so there aren’t awkward pauses, but once he’s on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile when they’re attracted to them

6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they’re going for the let-her-complain-to-you-and-then-have-her-realize-how-wonderful-and-nice-you-are method.

8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.

10. Don’t talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

11. Guys get jealous easily.

12. Guys are more emotional than they’d like people to think.

13. Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…never mind..” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he’ll assume he did something wrong and he’ll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway. <— Who fuckin’ wrote this shit?! a 14 year old?!

16. Girls are guys’ weaknesses.

17. Guys are very open about themselves.

18. It’s good to test a guy first before you trust him. But don’t let him wait too long.

19. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend. <— What the fuck does this mean?!

20. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don’t need to give advice. <— Then don’t tell ppl your problems?!  

21. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.  <— Tell this to all the battered women!!!!

22. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

23. Guys will brag about anything.

24. Guys use words like hot or cute to describe girls. We rarely use beautiful. If a guy uses that, he likes you a whole hell of a lot.

25. Guys think WAY too much. One small thing a girl does, even if she doesn’t notice it can make the guy think about it for hours, trying to figure out what it meant.

26. Guys seek for advice from girls not other guys. Because most guys think alike, so if one guy’s confused, then we’re all confused.

27. Any guy could write out a rulebook or advice book for flirting, but no guy can write out a book about relationships.

28. Try to be as straightforward as possible.

29. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he’s too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won’t be mature and grown up.

30. If the guy does something stupid in front of the girl, he will think about it for the next couple days or until the next time he spends time with the girl.  

31. No matter how much guys talk about asses and boobs, personality is key.

32. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

33. Guys worry about the thin line between being compassionate and being whipped.

34. If a guy looks unusually calm and laid back, he’s probably faking it and is spazzing inside.

35. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl, he really is. Guys rarely say that.

36. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he’s just actually saying, “Please come and listen to me.” <— Okay, have you EVER sat with a man during Game 7 of a basketball series or Superbowl or March Madness?!  GTFO!

37. Guys don’t really have final decisions.

38. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him. It doesn’t happen that often, so when it does, you know something’s up.

39. If your best guy friend seems to avoid you or is never around when you’re with your boyfriend, he’s probably jealous and likes you.

40. When a guy looks at you for longer than a second, he’s definitely thinking something. <— Or has gas.

41. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

42. Guys don’t like girls who punch harder than they do.

43. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

44. Don’t be a snob. Guys can be intimidated and give up easily.

45. Everything in moderation. Put on makeup, wear perfume. Just not too much.

46. Guys talk about girls more than girls talk about guys.

47. Guys hate rejection, but they hate being led on even more.

48. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions and are MAD confusing but somehow are drawn even more to them.

49. A guy would give his left nut to be able to read a girl’s mind for a day.

50. No guy can handle all his problems on his own. He’s just too stubborn to admit it.

51. Not all guys are assholes. Just because ONE is a jackass doesn’t mean he represents ALL of us.

52. We don’t like girls who are too skinny.

53. We love it when girls talk about there ass.

54. Always make sure you know what kind of stuff your getting into before making out with a guy , like whether it’s a one time deal or not .

55. Believe it or not shy guys are the most easiest to talk to. It may not seem right but trust me they will start opening up like books after you just ask them questions about their lives and unnoticeable tell them about yours.

56. When a guy hits your butt it means that he wants you sexually.

57. Even if they refuse it all guys are ticklish on the ribs.

58. Guys love neck rubs and if he lets you keep doing it, it means that he really likes you or his neck really hurts.

59. Guys will test the waters to see how far they can get with you. Even if he doesn’t intend to it will happen. Know how far it is you want to let him go and he will respect that after you let him know a couple times.

60. When a guy sacrifices his sleep and health just to be with you, he really likes you and wants to be with you as much as possible.

Do Women Hate Each Other?

11 Jan

This Bitch Gotz It Right

I’m working on my gangsta vocab?  You think i’m getting it down?  

Okay… Please watch the video above from the fantastical Jenna Marbles.  

Now listen, I agree with her 100%.  I NEVER compare myself to other women.  Why?  Shit Bitch!  I’m outta this world!  

Okay, all jokes aside.  I don’t have time to compare myself to the next person.  I have things in life I want to do and goals I want to obtain.  Standing in place and hating on someone else’s acheivesments gets you NOWHERE!  You like something that someone else has, be it a job, car, or man then step up your game and get it yourself!  However, don’t compare yourself to the girl.  Chances are you really don’t know anything about her and are just assuming you know here based on physical charaterstics.

Just befriend other woman and stay in your own lane.  I will never  understand why someone just hates on others.  If you want it too… befriend the girl and figure out how to get it too.

There is too much going on in the world to add negative energy due to jealousy.